It's too much

This life.
This world.
This year.
This month.
This week,
This day.

It's too much,

By too much, I mean this -

We're supposed to live until the time comes and when the time comes is when none of us have any knowledge of. Till that day, all of us wish to live to the fullest, with different meanings, interpretations and ways on what 'the fullest' means.

It doesn't matter.

We are all entitled to live the way we want to live. A gift of a brain. A gift to think. A gift of choice. To each, a gift.

What matters is the question of how do i live to my level of fullest.
How do I decide on the path of my life that leads to the fullest when the road keeps changing here and there. The more I walk, the more it change,
How do I know how to act, talk, eat, sing, choose, paint, write, to the fullest.
Will it be meaningful enough if i decide to just do anything with hope that it'll lead me to a life of glory?

Hanging thoughts, let's keep it here.

Enraptured

We are living in a world of uncanny love.
A word of false pretense.
For the loved, lover and love giver.

A love that hid beneath a mask of perfections.

Perfections that come in the form of a porcelain face, a charming smile, a melodious voice, a talent to become one with the rhythms of the world, the ability to weave a world through words, wealth, glamour, a physique that enthralls.

A love that leaves nothing to the loved, lover and love giver.
Nothing but loneliness.

Loneliness upon realizing that amidst the laughter and tears,
as the sun sets and the moon that glows with the glow of the sun arise,
a meaningful life moves one more step away from the seeker.

An uncanny love.

A love where the brain becomes intoxicated with illusions.
Illusions that causes one to forget its own origins.
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What am I doing?

A love that taints love.
A love that gives out the imagery of a wilted flower.
A flower,
once so beautiful,
so elegant in its creation,
holy water was given,
water the flower they did,
never missing a beat,
little did they know that,
a flower do not simply live by water,
sunlight, carbon dioxide, pure affection, tender care,
not the obsessive caress nor kiss they keep giving,
day by day, the color drains,
but the water keeps coming,
the uncanny love keeps coming,
they just don't care do they.

As the flower dies another grows,
as a replacement.
A replacement for the idolaters of uncanny love.

To understand is to

give.

To understand is to give,

Give others your time, focus, attention and energy.


To understand is to let go.

Let go of your inner ego, your unwavering stands, your pride.


To understand is to listen.

Listen to what they have to say with an open heart. Listen with your brain and heart as well as your ears.


To understand is to wait,

Give time. You can never truly understand until you spare some time for the thoughts to settle down. Understanding can never be achieved in a split second. Time is needed to reflect, to be critical of yourself, of others. To find the balance that is needed for the situation. time, give time.


To understand is empathy.

Empathy is to combine all of the above aspects and mix it in a bowl.
Empathy is being aware and immersed in the sphere and situation of what you are attempting to understand.
Empathy is to, for a moment, dive into another's life, a sea filled an abundance of different creations.
Empathy is to be critical of yourself. To not let your thoughts, opinions, perceptions and principals become shrouded with a mask of self-centered egoism, consciously or unconsciously. All of this, for the sake of a deeper level of understanding.
Empathy, is to be able to feel another's pain and to sincerely smile at another's joy.

Empathy, is a treasure.
A key for harmony and peace.

Empathy, is what we all need.

Restless Days

Days where you row your boat silently over the stream.

Days where the trees by the shore stands calmly.

Days where a small breeze fleets through your fingers.

Days where children's laughter sings in the air.



Those days of calmness. Too calm. You stop rowing. Your boat stays.

Too calm.

Same shade of trees,

Same direction of wind.

The laughter fades.


Days filled with nothing but stillness.

Days filled with nothing but forced moves.

Days filled with nothing but an increasing detachment.


Detachment with people,

detachment with society,

detachment with life.


A life that contains no spark. A life filled with a dull type of calm and tranquility.

A life that leaves you staring at the ceiling.

A life like this,

what will you do with a life like this?

A life where no wrecking ball wants to enter.

A life like this,

if it's you, what will you do?

Glasses

Beyond the smiling expression
I can’t see through to the truth
I’m fine just smiling along with you

Even if someone wrote me a hint
I can’t read it because it’s written too small
I can only start digging little by little
Still, I don’t want to wear glasses

Even if I open my eyes the entire day
I’m busy looking at all the things
That are so clear to see
I’m already tired from everything
I don’t need to see every small, black thought
I'm already tired from everything
I don't need to read all the fine print

I don’t want to wield a sword to find
The things you worked so hard to hide
I’m fine just getting fooled by you

Is there something behind the rainbow
It’s too far, I can’t see it
I can only imagine marvelous things
Still, I don’t want to wear glasses

Get tricked and deceived, but I still trust
I’m busy imagining and being disappointed
I’m already tired from everything
I don’t care to see your flaws

I’m already tired from everything
I don’t want to see too far
I’m already tired from everything
I’m not going to wear heavy glasses
I’m already tired from everything
I’m not going to wear square glasses

Credits to : IU

Why do you share?

"Why do you share?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you share your experiences with others? Why do you communicate with others? Why do you help others? Why do you go so far for something that is not yours? Why do you do all that?

"Why are you asking me all this?"

"Because I don't understand. I'm afraid. I'm petrified. Scared by the thought that one day, because I don't grasp and hold the reason as to why i'm sharing my life, myself, my spirit, with others..

I'll die.

Slowly, bit by bit. Unseen through the lenses but as solid as a rock.

What can I do by then?

All the things I shared, how can I know it'll be with me for good till the end?"




- To be continued -

The light beneath the leaves

"Hi. My name is Suiren. Please look after me."

"Hi. I'm Nur. Stands for light in arabic."

"Light? That's beautiful. My name stands for water lily in japanese."

"That's cool! Great to meet you water lily."

"You too light. You too."



"Suiren, I think you should use a lighter color for the leaves."

"Oh, I just felt like painting it lighter you see."

"but the forest is suppose to be dark in that area"

"yeah but it's not always dark isn't it?"



"They loved it Suiren. Great job!"

"Really?! It's all thanks to you Nur."

"Me? All I did was give ideas and fixed the colors. You did the important job."

"If it wasn't for your ideas and delicate touches, the painting wouldn't be the same Nur. Give yourself some credit will ya."

"Haha if you say so Suiren. Now let's get some treats to celebrate. I know just the right place."

"To the light!"



"Nur, I need to go home early today. Sorry."

"Huh. Oh sure Suiren. Our work is nearly done here anyway."

"Thanks Nur."

"Hey, why do you need to go back early by the way? Anything I can help?"

"Ah, I just need to do some errands. Thanks Nur."

"Stop thanking me Rainy."

"Whatever Sunlight."



"Hey Suiren, your paintings seems to be different lately. Is anything the matter?

"Different? Ah, I just wanted to explore different themes and colors."

"If you say so Sui Sui."



"Hey Nur. Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"It's nothing."



"Boss wants you to tone down on the colors."

"What colors?"

"The colors on your paintings idiot. You're using to much dark elements. Your drawings also seems to be, kinda shadowy? Even the character's shadows seems to be emphasized more. You changed, Suiren."

"It's just my paintings Nur. I'll fix it."



"Suiren, what's this? Are you sick?"

"What? Oh. That's my sister's. I went the pharmacy yesterday but i guess i forgot to pass it to her."

"Is your sister okay? This is anti-depressants isn't it?

"You sure don't miss a beat Nur. Don't worry, she's in great care."

"Good to hear that."



"Suiren. Is there anything you need to tell me?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop it Suiren. I know something's wrong with you."

"Nur, what do you mean? I'm fine you know."

"You don't have a sister Suiren."

"How did you.."

"Suiren. Please. I know what you're going through. Please Suiren."

"I'm fine Nur."



- To Be Continued -