Here's me with my scrambling thoughts after ep 13 of homecha.
God.
That episode made me cry a lot.
Also been reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb, which made me delve more into my own behaviours, past and present. Crazy how much one doesn't know about one self.
Back to title. Family.
This word has been hiding in my mind in some distant corner covered with dust, but still there nevertheless. Staring at me waiting for me to pick it out, among all other thoughts. And carefully hold it in my hands. Giving it the attention it needs.
Stepped into a new group of people i've just met or just met few days ago, and they say we're family.
Stepped into a new building with entirely different life and it said we're family.
Walked into a common ground in conversations and events and the world chants we're family.
Family.
Should be a holy mantra.
A powerful piece of word that immediately wraps up everyone in a bubble.
Tying arms to each other, assuming familiarity and comfort.
A powerful tool for authority and security.
I wonder. How many of us, how many of those who said we're family actually acts the way a family does and doesn't feel like another black and white law. Dull on a sheet of paper. Read everyday solemnly.
We're family.
I don't know if i have ever truly felt family in any circle that overused the word other than my own blood-born family.
Blood-tied. The strongest pact. But even then, it took years to finally understand what a family is. A sense of comfort, familiarity, unconditional love and support through thick and thin, always with you through time.
Family is not just a decoration. Real work must be situated to make it work. Even when a thread in the knitwork goes astray, there's a way to make it work. To make it fit comfortably in the overall look without cutting it off. To never leave one in their worst persona. To wait patiently and love nevertheless and willingness to make it work. Whatever it is. To know that you belong no matter what. You can come home no matter what.
Family and home is intangible.
Maybe i'm still overprotective over my heart, tears and sanity. And i deny any other entity that says we're family without any visible action that convinced my heart.
What a nice word.
Sold for cheap.
How can one be family if money, monthly targets, written rules, and expected behaviour are included in the bowl?
How can one be family without knowing each other and cutting parts of oneself to look exactly the same as others?
That's not family.
I cannot accept an expensive word to be sold cheap.
