Disparage

It's like a thunder when an idea cross your mind and send you tumbling to your laptop, hoping you'll catch at least the tail of the boom. So here's Disparage. An expression of a sudden wave of pandemic existence confusion.

Disparage.

Not to disparage, but am i going through a hard time or same old non pandemic years.

Not to disparage, but am i turning numb to the tribulations or same feelings so not feeling.

Not to disparage, but am i growing used to the changes or same routine so no gloating.

Not to disparage,

my own life or the world's crisis,

but I lay down, listen to the world, and fall into a state of eerie confusion,

what is going on?

Are we happy or grieving?

Or both, alternating in balance, too much to resist,

and like a pendulum, without resistance, slowly stops without realising.

When we're in a constant alternation,

do we stagnate like a river that doesn't flow?

When we're in a constant alternation,

do we, become a part of the constellation?