"Haha cite saya tak pernah basi xD"
~
Tiba-tiba rasa nak keep my travelog safe and sound in my book.
I'm more of a 'feel' person. I write when I feel it. Writing without the 'feel' is difficult. Am sure there are pros and cons in doing that huh.
~
The Before Story
Before embarking on the journey to Yala, I was slightly leaving a gloomy life in my little sphere. Felt slightly guilty for not possessing any energy nor spirit for the journey/mission/project. I felt nothing. Probably was in the 'I lost all motivation' phase. A phase I experience on a normal basis.
On the morning before the journey starts,
"Mak, ayah, i'm tired."
"Tak sihat?"
"No. I'm just tired of these emotions. Tired of fighting this heaviness inside of me."
"It's okay if you don't go. You can stay home and rest."
"No. I must go. I need to get out. I'll be worse if I stay."
It's true. Static water becomes murky.
Took a flight to Kelantan with Iman. While waiting for our flight, we sat on the carpeted floor across our waiting room since it's not opened yet. We sat in front of the large ceiling to floor glass pane. I could clearly see the calming sky smiling at me. Calm as ever. I always feel better after looking at the vast sky. No matter what happens, the sky is must always go to panorama.
It was also nice to finally be able to catch up with Iman and her dramatic life. It feels great to be able to tune myself into a life around people. My feelings were slowly returning into my vision. My wreck of a self was slowly rebuilding itself.
We arrived in Kelantan without a hitch. Spent the night at my sister's house, played heartily (and tiringly) with little Zahra and Amani. Iftar at Masjid Telepot (the masjid was very clean and cool). Very fast tarawih berjemaah. Colek at 'Red Card Kelantan'.
I love Kelantan. Something about Kelantan feels like home for me. Maybe because of its striking difference to the twon i'm currently living in and how it's not filled with excessive looming buildings. Quaint, is the word i use for Kelantan. Fight me all you want.
The more steps i took outside of my house, in a new environment and new sensations, something in me heals itself.
The hardest step is always the first step.
Letting go of yourself into a new world is always tough,
but, it's worth it.
Let yourself go and see what you'll become.
Let yourself go and find your worth.
Let yourself go and breathe in the life you're surrounded with.
Let yourself go and witness what the world has to offer.
You might regret it,
but believe me,
you'll regret it even more if you don't let go.
Because to get, you need to let go.
and, for some people, letting go of their own selves is the hardest part. The part where they stand in the path of no return. 'Should I or Should I not?'. Uncertainties. Doubts. Change.
and that's what every new journey reflects to me. Another step into a new world. Another forward step into a land of uncertainties. Little did I know, this world i'm so uncertain of, is a world that reigns under the panoramic view of my beloved sky. The sky that had always calm me and intrigue me, covers the doubts that walks all over earth. Wherever you go, the sky will always remain. As majestic as ever. Stability amidst uncertainties.
Thank you to all who made Kembara Yala/Selatan Thai possible :)
The journey starts from here on .
Nice Maryam! :)
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